


No one stops, and we're not ok

by Profilore



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Androids are not humans, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Violence, Everything is Beautiful and Everything Hurts, F/M, Feels, Friendship, Grief, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Introspection, Machines are not humans, Nothing is ok, Post-Canon, Psychological Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unreliable Narrator, spoilers for the whole game
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22116103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Profilore/pseuds/Profilore
Summary: The slap echoed in the silence.9S was breathing hard, his hand, still extended, hung helplessly in the air.
Relationships: 2B/9S (NieR: Automata)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

The slap echoed in the silence.

9S was breathing hard, his hand, still extended, hung helplessly in the air.

She did it again. Oh god. Oh, God. This time, he’s had enough. Like watching a flight unit speeding into an enemy flyer, she had known exactly what would happen next, but was unable to move, or think, or do anything to stop it. The inevitable collision. The explosion of pain.

His eyes were huge, and he was staring, not even breathing, at his hand, as if it was an alien thing that moved without his permission. No wonder – no matter how hard it got, no matter their screaming rows, hysterical outbursts or painful fits of crying, they’ve never… they’ve never before resorted to violence.

2B had to admit, to some surprise, that she’d expected to cave first. 

She never wanted to hurt him. Never. Yet, that was all she ever did.

“9S…”

“I… I…”

“I’m sorry.”

“…Don’t.”

He brought his trembling palms to his face, covering his expression, as if he could ever hide from her.

“I’m sorry, 2B. I… It’s not your fault. I hurt you…” he whispered, and the heartbreak in his voice brought fresh tears to her eyes.

“It’s ok, Nines. We’re ok. I forgive you.”

“I know…”

She hugged him as his shoulders started shaking. The absence of “I forgive you too” hung heavy on her soul, but she didn’t expect it. Well, she tried not to. She had no right to ask for it, and so she never did.

He clung to her dress and cried, quiet and tense for long, long, minutes. She hated every moment of it. She couldn’t get enough.

After the Tower, 9S was not the same. Or maybe he was. The confusion, anger and fear that followed him wherever he went always felt familiar, gave him a sense of inevitable disaster. Has he been this way before? Probably. Maybe this was just his usual, normal reaction. Maybe that’s what he always resorted to, when faced with something he couldn’t change.

He did his best to keep his cool, to hold on to familiar things, places, words. Anything. Yet wherever they went, painful reminders surrounded him.

Pascal’s village was nothing but a junk heap on a half-burnt tree. The resistance camp was twice as empty and half as friendly. The desert winds were still screaming about the desperation brought on by millennia of war and suffering. The forest machines still lay, unmoving, where he left them, their fellows too corrupted to do anything but fight.

2B was his light. Every time their eyes met, his figurative heart missed a beat.

It fixed nothing.

She was his everything. He couldn’t stand the sight of her.

There was no denying the love. It was in every breath they took, in every touch, every glance.

The hatred in his heart burned so hot at times, he was surprised to realize he wasn’t on fire.

It didn’t help that every time, he could see how she fought with herself just to be gentle with him. How much it cost her, to stay her hand.

How many times has she killed him? How many of those did she still dream about in their brief moments of rest?

He thought he knew the answer.

He was too afraid to ask.

He left. Looked at her and promised “I’ll come back to you, I will, I will!” with nothing but the agony in his eyes.

She didn’t try to stop him, only watched his clenched fists and stiff legs as he walked away. She watched until his footsteps fell silent and his back disappeared in the labyrinth of ruined buildings. She watched, because there was nothing else for her to do.

Standing on the very top of the radio tower, she allowed herself a moment of weakness and stepped closer to the edge. Would he even want to come back?

The wind ruffled her skirt and hair. The drop seemed like sweet relief. She closed her eyes and imagined the darkness, the empty void where nothing could touch her.

She bowed her head.

“Query: can this pod be of assistance?”

She put a shaking hand on 042’s cool frame. It felt like catching herself on a handhold.

It felt like a never-ending nightmare.

It felt like home.


	2. Chapter 2

“Soooo, to sum up. You’re in love with her, but you also hate her so much that you want to kill her. She’s so used to killing you, that even though she’s fallen for you, she can barely even touch you. Also, you’re made with machine cores, which means you can’t really learn from your mistakes, so you’re afraid you’ll both end up dead.”

9S nodded, looking at his feet. It’s been a week since he last saw 2B, so even though 042 and 153 were keeping him updated on her whereabouts, he was feeling increasingly desperate.

It was just so… unfair. He knew that he had to do something, anything, to stop the suffering they kept stumbling on with every other step, but his logic circuits failed him. They’ve been almost constantly at each other’s throats since their awakening. He’d say something innocent, like “I wonder what this kind of tree looked like back when humans were still around”, and she’d freeze up, the figurative curtain dropping. She’d slip back into her cold persona and tell him to concentrate, to stop gabbing. And then he’s explode with all the rage he never knew he had in him until…

Well. Until that thing he tried not to think about.

Jackass got up from her folding chair and started pacing, a thoughtful, faraway look on her face. Aside from 9S, 2B and, presumably, A2 (9S was almost sure she was still alive, but every time he asked, the pods pretended to be glitching), Jackass was the only person fully aware of all the facts pertaining to the machine network, project YoRHa and the Tower.

She found them only a few days after they woke up and asked for a copy of all his records. 2B was unsure, but 9S gave them up without hesitation. He understood Jackass. She wasn’t like the rest of them. 9S had little doubt that if any other resistance android found out about the black box conspiracy, they would either pity them, or consider them inferior, or shun them altogether. Jackass though… she had a special way of looking at things. She didn’t care if you were a machine, or an alien, or a giant crab as long as you didn’t hurt her friends, but it you did… Suffice it to say, 9S was very relieved that he’d had nothing to do with Commander White’s death.

After a while, impatience got the better of 9S.

“Well? Any brilliant ideas?”

Jackass gave him a look, but thankfully stopped her infuriating march.

“Keep your pants on kid, it’s your neck on the line, do you want me to give you some soothing bullshit or do you want a real answer?”

He looked away, guilty but still just as irritated, and she sighed, coming closer.

“Alright, don’t give me the sad eyes, sheesh. I think I know a couple of things you can try.”

Suddenly full of painful, cutting hope, he jumped from his seat.

“What is it?”

“Weeeell… First of all, even if you’re strictly defined by you programming, now that you’re not in the army of humanity anymore, nothing’s stopping us from tweaking it just a bit.”

“Yea, that’s not an option. I’ve done internal modifications on myself before, but even I don’t know what happens if you dip into my personality data unauthorized. And since Commander is gone, no one can authorize it.”

“Ok then. The second option is, if you can’t change what you feel, change how you express it.”

“What… the hell do you mean by that?”

“I mean, you’re full of rage, but you’ve been hiding it even from yourself, and your girl is all fluff and rainbows, except for the part where she kills people. Learn to express that other half of you, that should help balance out the first one.”

“… are you telling me to hurt 2B?”

“Sure, if that’s what you need to do. In your place, though, I’d make sure to ask for some sort of consent first.”

2B wanted to forget for a while. The worry, the uncertainty was driving her up the wall. The easiest way to do that was to find a job, so she turned her steps to the resistance camp.

With the fall of the tower and creation of the machine Arc, all the machines connected to the network at the time had self-destructed. That, however, didn’t mean there were no more hostile machines. Turns out, a faction of them broke away from the network just a week before it’s disappearance. Those machines were even more aggressive and violent. That was the main reason for their separation – the network wasn’t acting fast enough for them. They’d wanted to hunt and kill all androids right now.

Anemone told her this, after a brief but heartfelt greeting, and offered a small compensation for hunting them down. 2B(2E) agreed. After all, without 9S, killing was all she was good for.

042 marked the estimated location and she took off running. A couple of newly peaceful machines, former cultists from the factory, judging by their colored robes, watched her pass. She hardly noticed. Once the mission parameters were set, she always went into a special, focused state. Distractions didn’t matter.

In truth, she’s always envied Nines for his ability to disregard his orders, look outside the box, try new things just for the hell of it. Her? She just acted. No thought involved.

Sometimes she wondered, what would she have become if she never met 9S? But thinking about that made her shudder in disgust.

The desert greeted her with oppressive heat, and a small part of her wondered just how long her body would be able to withstand the continual abuse, considering that a transition to a new one in the absence of the YoRHa network would require much more forethought, and no new units will ever be created. For the first time in her memory, she was about to go into battle with no possibility of back up.

Oh, well. She’ll just have to be a bit more careful.

The crumbling walls of the apartment complex were full of holes, and so even from a great distance away she was able to hear screeching, mechanical voices. One of them sounded... familiar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long falks. I've been a bit stuck 2bh. It's not that i don't know where to go with this story, it's just that to get there, i need to work thought a lot of stuff, and plotting is hard =))  
> My big thanks to everyone who left cudos, you guys are inspiring me to give this one more time.

**Author's Note:**

> Ouch.
> 
> So, instead of contining my hundred WIPs i've started another one, and i don't even have a plan for it. Um, i had to? These two won't leave me alone until i find a way for their happily ever after in my head.
> 
> Please say something in the comments so i know i'm not totaly crazy yet.


End file.
